I am taking a class, “The Artist’s Way,” based on the book by Julia Cameron. It is a wonderful book, and I highly recommend it. It is filled with exercises designed to help you reconnect with your creative self. I love them all, except one. Media Deprivation week. It just  may kill me.

For one week, we are not allowed any television, radio, books, magazines, or media of any type. My husband, the couch potato, volunteered to participate in media deprivation week with with me.  I regularly pick on him for the amount of television he watches, and was sure he wouldn’t last a day.  I, on the other hand, thought this would be relatively easy for me… the writer, the artist, the high brow.

You probably know a lot of Divas.

Diva is the woman next door who always seems to have the yard cut and flowers blooming.  She is the one woman at your college reunion who looks like she hasn’t aged a day since you graduated.  She is soccer Mom who always has the perfect idea for the fund raiser, or the friend whose house looks like it is ready for a magazine photo shoot..
 

You probably hate her just a little bit.  It’s OK, we won’t tell.
 

It’s a new year filled with new beginnings, but today I thinking about endings.  My husband’s leukemia is no longer in remission. My boss’s father died this morning.  My neighbor is in the last stages of cancer. I’m hovering over our cat Charlie, anxiously awaiting test results that may confirm a terminal diagnosis.  And last night, at midnight in a sterile animal emergency hospital, I watched my best friend of 25 years make the hard choice to have her beloved cat, Ruby, put down.

Even while I grieve, there is a voice inside me that whispers “This is all part of the circle. It will all be okay.” 

I hate New Year's resolutions.  One more list of things I can feel bad about myself for not doing - as if the scorecard I carry around in my head day in day out weren't enough.

So this year, I resolve to make some resolutions I can feel good about.

For starters, I resolve to stop being so critical of myself. That means if I fail to keep any of my other resolutions - I can't criticize myself for it.  I am sure there are plenty of other people willing to take on that job for me.  I resolve to spend less time around those people.

I will worry less about what others may think. In fact, I resolve tostop worrying so much, period. I wish I could have all the time back I spent worrying over things that never came to pass, or ultimately didn't matter.